Decide and Conquer: Make Winning Decisions and Take Control of Your Life

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After a long frustration time, I started doing to find out whether I should move ahead or resign. Both are amazing. Its just that this field does not match my temperament I am an introvert and also anti social. Taking English classes in Canada for my citizenship was my best decision and proud decision. I could not experience the best scenario but I have learnt so much about introvert wonderful qualities and becoming more social. You need to be productive creative as poetry in motion keep moving forward. Try New things. Do not quit. Love will always shine through work hard challenge yourself God will only give you what you can handle adversity is our best teacher.

Ooh I like that about not being able to go back in time — too often I find myself waiting, and then when it all works out I wish I had started earlier! I always return to my values. Hi Marie, I love Missy. My biggest decision is moving with work from South Africa to the UK in with my 14 year old son. Thank you for the tips. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Teresa. Different things work for different people, and not everything Marie says will resonate with every person. We encourage you to trust your inner wisdom and do what you feel is best for you.

Ultimately the decisions you make can only be decided by you. Wow, this video arrived at a time when I am talking myself out of presenting at the biggest conference in my sector. I have been asked to speak by the organisers, but suffer from acute anxiety and with it comes the feeling that I am just not good enough. Oh my gosh! Good luck with your decision and with the presentation if you accept! Louise, I teach public speaking, and one of the things that I would tell you is to realize that you were asked to speak for a reason.

You have something of value to say! Here are just a few other tips: 1 Breathe. Sounds crazy, but it works. When I am well-prepared, I can do anything. And so can you. Finally, have fun with it. Tell yourself that your anxiety is really excitement, then go out and enjoy yourself. If you do, so will your audience. Wow you are incredibly gracious and encouraging to give such great and thorough advice! I love this community! That sounds really stressful, Louise. We believe in you! What about the list about pros and cons?

Anyway I do not believe in this , you make the decisions you make sometimes because of external aspects that no-one can master and you learn, and you keep on living. Do the pros outweigh the cons. Absolutely, Liz!

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We were totally on the same wavelength because I replied to Julia saying essentially the same thing, then saw your comment. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Julia. Marie does encourage people to imagine the best case and worst case scenarios, which are essentially lists of pros and cons imagined as if both situations were real.

Different things work for different people, so if making a list of pros and cons works for you, we encourage you to trust your inner wisdom and do what you know is best for you. I LOVE these 4 tests! My favorite it the first test because those 2 words are so specific and I can feel what it would be like to sense those feelings during a big decision making time.

Marie, this is so relevant to my heart! The husband may have a job opportunity, which would mean moving from our small city to a very very large city. Now, we never wanted to stay in the city we currently live in. I was hoping for West Coast. So, how are we making this huge family life decision? With lots of office supplies!

This was a chance for me to get my Dollar Tree on! Congrats to your family though for having a new opportunity like this! Nothing is permanent! Another something to ponder, If we move to Big, big city- what if one of us loves it, and the other hates it? Post-its for the win! Good luck with your decision as a family! Dear Michelle, it sounds like that you have chosen already.

Maybe I am wrong but your intuition says yes but your head tries to talk you out of it. Do it cause it is powerful. And do the other tests too. As some one mentions above the pro-con-list ist just another way to WRITE down your fears and hops and wishes so that you have it out of your mind and onto paper yes do it by hand not by computer. The Post-It method is awesome too! Somehow color-coding things always seems to help. Have you been to visit this new city? Is taking a short vacation there first, possible? Also, I know in my city, there are tons of online mom groups that meetup in person for various events and lectures, etc.

Many come from the meetup website, others from groups that have sprung up on their own based on their neighborhood. If there are groups like that in the city you are considering, maybe you could reach out to them and get perspectives on living there from other moms? Just a thought and good luck! All that leads to is more doubt and wasted time.

These are amazing tips! Thank you. Thanks again! Girl, I hear you. I went through a similar process this year. Tough, but so good. Best wishes on your own journey! That really hits at the heart of it, Jenna. Our intuition has the answers, and we have to tune in and listen to its wisdom. So timely Marie! So last minute I set up a crowd funding campaign. Pressures on, but in a really positive way! My biggest test is to be sexual and non flippant about it or to be controlled by it.

My favorite way to mull something over is to journal about it. Sometimes that means I pray about it, sometimes that means I call my mom or my aunt or my husband, and we just hash out what feels confusing about the choices. Thanks Marie! And yes at times there are external contributing factors when making a decision. All of these things are a reality. Throughout all of this a myriad of external factors could come into play and attempt to sabotage my move or my plans.

Anything could happen. You have the power to chose, to make evasive maneuvers if you need to should things change or new challenges present themselves. She gave you 4 simple tips to HELP. And that same man or woman takes a very long time to change his mind, for he has the character to see his vision through, less he discover it was a fatal path to chose, then he can redirect.

Still standing firm in the decisions I make, and I own them, regardless of external factors or internal struggle. Thank you so much for what you shared, Echo. Great insight into decision making and yes, I totally agree with the physicality of making a decision; it has to feel right! I did the test and it confirmed what I already knew.

I generally just make my decision. This is really helpful at this point in my life! Best case scenario, living the life I have been dreaming for so long! Thanks Marie!!! You are awesome! The first step I think can never be underestimated. I say this as a woman because I think many of us ignore those physical messages we get from our bodies because many of us are out of touch with that part of our being.

We all might have heard some of this information before from different sources, but I believe we need to be reminded, because human beings are good at forgetting to apply what they already think they know! So true, Catherine. Ok, love this, made me feel excited straight away especially after the Missy Elliot rap: … so cool! I have been thinking of selling my house so I can travel around the world and can get more training on marketing.

After traveling and learning from the best teachers, I will have all the strenght, wisdom and insight to make my business the best there is. I will be so succesfull that after 1 year I can buy a small place and in a couple of years even a biggger place. Love the simplicity of it. I also use some similar tools but you came out with the facility of putting several together for a deeper understanding and accessible to practice.

And be aware of the events and circumstances in our lives that require an action. I Love how gracious and uplifting you are when explaining it. For me payoff, depending on the situations, is freedom, love, a sense of meaning, gratitude, expansion, abundance and life quality. Thanks for your inspiration. It definitely makes sense that putting more tools together leads to deeper understanding.

Great timing. The body has said yes in the past but given certain things that have occurred over time, my body is not wanting to move toward this project. The worst case scenario is it completely falls apart and my reputation goes in the trash within the industry…which is something I am not willing to accept. Best case scenario is that it is a TOTAL success and adds to my reputation and also strengthens a relationship I love with my friend. Plus, her career will be propelled into a new stratosphere, too.

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I would really struggle with this and the impact it would have on our relationship. So…I am still stuck…. Hey Brett! I wish you and your friend the best success!! This is such a timely video! You will likely laugh, but my big stop was how to restart my workout program. So many options — so little time. Not to mention not tons of money to spend. As a writer and editor, I spend my days alone in my home office.

Your last point about engagement resonated. Right on, Lisbeth! Marie is a big believer in working out, since it really does help you relax and clear your mind. I love your videos. You always make me laugh! Hello Marie. I lived in Europe all my life and always wanted to live in North America, ever since I was little. I always felt it deep down in my gut. Then, finally, at 33, I did my test-run and visited Toronto and Montreal for a couple of weeks.

Back in Europe, I gathered all the info I needed to apply for permanent residence, and today I live in Montreal. I gave up everything, my job, my friends, my family. But I know it was the right move. Attention, making the right move does not mean living in Nirvana after that. The happily ever after myth is something that deceived and mislead people in my generation, especially women…. I am now in the phase of professional reorientation which is what brought me to your page.

Thank you for all you do. Great story Catherine and I agree. Hi Catherine! I am in Montreal too!! And I will also start my career change. I am actually a biologist, trying to decide what to do next!! Good luck to you!! After months of exhaustion, I made a terrible decision that cost me my job. I was a valued employee who was pulling crazy hours working to am on a massive project hoping it would pay off in a big bonus when an opportunity presented itself, and uncharacteristically for me, I decided to just go for it.

My crime: I slipped a script I wrote to a celebrity spokesperson visiting my company for the day. It was an afterthought as I was making them a care package anyway and thought about my own long plane rides I had been taking for the company. I naively thought the person might like snacks…and something to read on the plane. Now, of course, I see that it was wrong. I stood to personally benefit if the celebrity liked my script and I never meant to offend anyone or use my employer that I had given my blood, sweat and tears to.

I was fired on the spot, no severance, no big bonus I had killed myself for, and nothing I could do to undo the isolated poor decision that cost me my job. I wrote a formal apology to the company and would have done whatever was needed to make it up to them and the celebrity though I suspect the celebrity never even saw my script and at the end of the day, the project was wrapping up, my company got what they needed from me and they saved themselves a lot of money.

Totally not worth it. I wish I could say I have a silver lining that I went to go on to sell the script, but I have no contacts in Hollywood and have no idea how to sell a female comedy in this Trump culture we now find ourselves in. But that type of starry-eyed thinking got me into this mess! I just went through this. I turned down a job offer that many folks would love to have. One if I took the job and two if I continued on my current path. Once I looked at that and then sat with those two outcomes, turning down the job offer felt much more peaceful and on target with who I am creating myself to be.

Make a decision and then make it right. And that work is to MAKE the decision the right decision by giving it your all and not wondering what might have been. Making the Choice Right. Fact is, we live in a world of great choices. And thank you so much for sharing this with us. And it might seem wrong now, but down the road it will lead you to the place you needed to go all along.

I made some seemingly stupid decisions that ended up being the best ones for me. Life is a rollercoaster ride. Better to get on, learn to enjoy the ups and downs, the curves rather than fret about making the right decision. Sometimes you need to go back to move forward or sideways to move forward. And forward may be a circle or a zigzag.

We are taught it is one straight line when all that does is gallop you toward the cliff …. Sometimes life and its many decisions looks more like a chess board than a one-way street. Thanx Linda!! It is said that the Teacher will appear when the student is Ready.. I was finding it difficult to take a decision even by being a psychological professional.. Love you Marie for the timely appearance..

Thank you.. I have developed a compassion based self-healing process and have had a lot of push pull around getting it out there. Should I work with Clients? I find using my breath really helps. Today, I used it and my answer is to write a book that is a metaphor for awakening. Marie, these are awesome steps and ones I think most of already know but need to be reminded of frequently.

Once a business has identified a problem and brainstorm a number of potential solutions these steps also help to decide which is the best solution. What a great way to share your wisdom. LOVE this series of questions!! However since I am the Boss of Me, I also love the idea that I can give myself permission and the directive to see if it passes The 4 Q tetst. I am sure to have SO many insights!! Thank you beautiful, have a fabulous day!!

I was recently accepted into my first wholesale trade show, and the opportunity came up to also be a retail vendor for the second part of the show. It meant a much bigger expense, a longer hotel stay, and needing to make 3 or 4 times more product than just for the wholesale portion of the show. It also came with an opportunity to reach another market, generate more sales, and ultimately, an opportunity for a bigger paycheck…. I needed to decide fairly quickly and knew that it was an opportunity more than anything else.

I definitely used the gut reaction method for making my decision. I could feel that even though it was scary, it was also exciting. Jump towards your fears right? The main thing that was holding me back was getting the support from my husband because the financial decision was greater. He obviously came on board after we talked through the risks and rewards.

That show is now two weeks away, and I am still nervous, but mostly excited. However, a few things happened since I accepted the opportunity that prevented me from being prepared as I needed to be. While I know everything will still work out, and I am still glad about the decision I made, I definitely learned a lesson in biting off a bit more than I can chew.


Ultimately, I am still hopeful to grow my business with wholesale accounts and meeting new clients outside of my current demographic. Love that, Emily! I have always struggled with decision-making. But you have helped me get better and I love these for ideas. The first one and the last one are probably my favorites! Now THAT would be rewarding!!! OMG, I think I just realised that my best case scenario is my worst case scenario!

Thank you so much, this could not have come at a more perfect time for me! My only option would be to find a part-time job so that I can use that income to pay for investing on courses and such. I love being at home with my kids, making them breakfast in the morning, dropping them off at school, picking them up, those are things I may have to sacrifice if I take on a part-time job. Time for me to put these 4 test into practice. Alma, I so understand what you mean!! I will be doing a career change soon, and I know it will include some time away from my children. I do work now but my schedule allows me a lot of freedom, and I do spend a lot of time with my kids.

I think that, even if I have to make some sacrifice and spend a little less time with them for a while, while I am in school or starting a business, it will be worth it in the end. I also see this as being a role model for my child, by modeling that its possible to change path in life, to be happy professionnally, that we can do anything we want if we set our mind to it! But I really agree its hard to make a decision that will take time away from the children.

I try to see it in the long term, and think it will really be worth it. And children are super resilient too!! Marie-Eve, I agree. I do feel that it is worth it to pursue our dream careers, even if that means sacrificing a bit of time with the children. And yes, being a role model to them is important to me too. Thank you so much for your reply, it gave me some encouragement! Good luck to you in your new career! I have been wrestling with increasing my rates as a marketing consultant and copywriter. With the amount of work that I am receiving at this lower price point, I needed to weed out the smaller clients and focus on high level projects.

Is it worth it? Am I working with a nickel-and-dime client or am I truly overcharging? This is a decision that definitely makes me feel contracted! It really helped me launch my YouTube channel and find exactly what I wanted to share. Although I love and use! Right on, Tara! Go you! So why would I want to get back there? And more precisely what would be great about it? Concretely I would throw myself into culture, go back to my dance classes, and perhaps, get some work to get to some money to keep going on with those things.

My dilemma: Stay in business with work partner, move with work partner to a merged situation, or leave the partner. The partnership is less than satisfactory yet I am not sure I want to go this alone or even stay with this work. I know how I feel on either side of the yoga room, teacher or student, and I often wonder why not live on my mat!? Because as I said before we must learn to take our practice off the mat and into the world for ourselves and others.

I know everything is reversible. Thank you Marie for your positive and enthusiastic and real way of sharing healthy information with us. Thank you for your kind words, Nancy. Thanks for sharing this awesome piece of content, Marie. You cannot imagine what impact you had on my life! After having studied business administration and having worked for a big corporation I joined a Startup.

But now, after only a few months, i start having the feeling of not doing the right thing for me. I have always been fascinated about how we as human beings are interacting with each other — and especially how the behavior of our society is impacted by economical or political changes. Long story short: I am thinking about going to university again to study sociology. Thank you so much, Nadia! It would be with a company I like and could see myself retiring from.

My three adult sons would be figuring things out as they learned to stand on their own. This is so timely. I am trying decide what to do with my life. There a lot of factors in this money, the house, kids in college, etc. He has offered the suggestion that I go first and he follows, but I am not sure. I am worried about what that would do to our relationship.

These strategies are interesting…. Gosh, this was timely. I have so many decisions I am mulling over. Like starting a Health Coach practice, or just getting a job somewhere. Or going back to school and finishing my grad degree. But I think the biggest is to sell my house or not. The best case, I sell it for a large amount, and can move to a place I like, can afford, and still have savings left over as a rainy day fund. You cannot imagine what impact you had on my life. But before me make up my mind, why not try a little adventure? I know luck is going to keep on smiling on these people for a long time to come.

Hello Marie, I am doubting to join the B-school in March… i was convinced a month ago, and then came the doubt again, and now my decision changes from day to day.

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I am not sure because it is a lot of money that i have to borrow or attract? Sofie from Belgium. Hey Sofie! Thank you a lot Marie! When i was doing your 4 step test yesterday, the answer was 4 times a big YES! Love from the rainy little Belgium! Perfect advice at the exact time I needed it. Thank you so much! My intuition is super strong on a new job opportunity and after running it through your 4 steps, it clearly is a no-brainer.

After reading a few books about the FP Field of Potentiality, aka God and how you can request—demand even—a clear sign, I was hoping when I did that exact experiment I would get my sign and know for sure. But my intuition is still tugging me. Have you ever had that happen before? I love this!!!!

Exactly what I needed now!! I wish I came across such wisdom when I was younger. Ten years ago, at age 26, I decided to go to med school, since I wanted to be a doctor my whole life. I got invited to the interviews, but fear crept up on me… What if I failed, what if I made mistakes, what if, what if, what if… Unable to make a decision, I did not go to the interviews… I deeply regretted it and reapplied the next year, only to do the same thing, and ended up not going again! Then I created some excuses to justify theses decisions to myself… My husband and I wanted kids soon, etc… Anyway, we did not have kids for 5 more years… I totally would have had the time to do med school!!!

And now, I am sure I would have been great at it, and a great doctor too. I wish I could go back. I ended up being a biologist. I love biology, but hate my specific job and sadly where I live there are no opportunities in this field. I am very lucky to have a job in biology. At the same time, I feel so stuck in my life. I have a mortgage, 2 kids, responsibilities. But I did your tests Marie, and I have decided to move forward with a career change. I still have at least 30 years to work!! When I think about changing career, I feel scared, but exhilarated at the same time.

I feel like I expand. I will learn to walk with the fear. Also, like you say, nothing is permanent. I might even go to med school, finally. I also have lots of small business ideas that I would love to implement!

We will see about that! But what I do know, is that I will register to b-school this year or the next! I have been dreaming about it for a while. And I know that this will be life changing, no matter what I end up doing!! Thanks so much for the inspiration! Reading your story was like reading my own story. I am 24, finally fed up of being in this soul-sucking engineering job. I really do not enjoy my work, do you think I should just quit right away and than find something I might like, like in the bank or should I hang in there?

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You might miss a few recitals or ball games, but you might get something better in return. Imagine how much fun it would be for your kids to learn with you and help you with your homework. Maybe you could make it a family decision since whatever you choose to do will affect your entire family. And I would add that you may want to consider what you would like to teach your children for their lives.

Best of Luck! Perfect timing! I have to come to a few decisions here in regards to my day job and it has been so bothering me.

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  6. Thank you for this. You inspire me every day! I do have a decision to make and was surprise to see that I did most of the things you said hahaha As a mental person, I always choose to do the physical test first, because it forces me to stay still and act with my sensibility. Thank you for your video! My last big decision was taking up a bridge job and you helped me so much to feel confident and not bad that I said yes. We appreciate you tuning in and letting Marie be a part of your world. Without goals, we have no sure destination.

    Imagining how life will be after you've reached your goal is a great motivator to keep you moving forward. However, visualization might produce the opposite results in people who have a fear of failure. Research shows that people who have a fear of failure were often left in a strong negative mood after being asked to visualize goals and goal attainment. Start by setting a few small goals.

    These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging.

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    Think of these goals as "early wins" that are designed to help boost your confidence. For example, if you've been too afraid to talk to the new department head who has the power to give you the promotion you want , then make that your first goal. Plan to stop by her office during the next week to introduce yourself.

    Or, imagine that you've dreamed of returning to school to get your MBA, but you're convinced that you're not smart enough to be accepted into business school. Set a goal to talk with a school counselor or admissions officer to see what's required for admission. Try to make your goals tiny steps on the route to much bigger goals.

    Don't focus on the end picture: getting the promotion, or graduating with an MBA. Just focus on the next step: introducing yourself to the department head, and talking to an admissions officer. That's it. Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and prevent you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal. Sometimes, being afraid of failure can be a symptom of a more serious mental health condition.

    Negative thinking can cause severe health problems and, in extreme cases, death. While these techniques have been shown to have a positive effect on reducing stress, they are for guidance only, and readers should take the advice of suitably qualified health professionals if they have any concerns over related illnesses or if negative thoughts are causing significant or persistent unhappiness.

    Health professionals should also be consulted before any major change in diet or levels of exercise. Many of us are sometimes afraid of failing, but we mustn't let that fear stop us from moving forward. Fear of failure can have several causes: from childhood events to mistakes we've made in our adult lives. It's important to realize that we always have a choice: we can choose to be afraid, or we can choose not to be. Start by setting small goals that will help build your confidence. Learn how to explore and evaluate all possible outcomes rationally and develop contingency plans; and practice thinking positively.

    By moving forward slowly but steadily, you'll begin to overcome your fear. This site teaches you the skills you need for a happy and successful career; and this is just one of many tools and resources that you'll find here at Mind Tools. Subscribe to our free newsletter , or join the Mind Tools Club and really supercharge your career! Expert Interviews Audio Forums Infographics. Quizzes Templates and Worksheets Videos.

    What triggers your fear? How does your fear affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally? Think of the worst-case scenario if you take action to overcome your fear and it backfires. Can you live with that? Now think of the consequences of NOT taking action.

    Now that you accept and understand your fear better, think about what exactly you want to change and why from an objective standpoint. What do you have to gain by making a positive change? Write down the desired outcomes and then spend time to visualize the positive action that will lead you to where you want to go with success. It takes a certain amount of momentum to deal with fear. Write down concrete action steps that will start the process of change.

    Take action even when you are scared. Sometimes, you just have to take a big jump into the unknown. No matter how much research you do to prepare for a change, there will always be some areas where the mystery will remain until you take the plunge and commit to the new experience, client, relationship etc.